Hello Michelle,
Although we can and do dream of relationship issues through dreaming about our partners or ex-partners, the people who appear in our dreams generally represent aspects of our own personality, character or approach to life.
One of the hardest things to do, when looking at your own dreams, is to consider the other dream people as being parts of yourself. It can be so difficult to take that giant step back from the dream scene and 'forget' that you know a person like this in 'real life'. If you can do this, though, the results are powerful.
Imagine each person in your dream has a mirror over their chest. As they speak to you, or interact with you, you look into their mirror and see your own face looking back at you. So each person brings you a reflection of yourself.
Psychologically, emotionally and spiritually we are all complex creatures. We perform many roles in life and we may be aware that we have various facets to our nature which we show some people, but not others. There are far many more facets (faces) of ourselves which are unconscious. Through dreams, and through the other people appearing in our dreams, we receive the gift of coming to know every facet of ourselves very deeply. Amongst the treasures are some difficult 'inner characters' of course! We're all gloriously human!
Our dreams give us the opportunity to let these characters role play and interact, working through conflict (between the aspects of ourselves) and, ultimately, finding peaceful, healing ways of being in harmony. Our dreams help us to head that way: towards inner harmony rather than inner conflict. It's a long path (the spiritual path) and it's greatest gift is in the journey: the discoveries we make along the way.
When we dream of engagement, marriage, questions of 'getting together' or 'tying the knot' as in your dream, we are usually dreaming of getting our inner characters to blend and harmonise. This is 'integration'.
So - following your waking life break up with your ex-boyfriend, your dreams have been working through all the inner conflicts that come up at such times. Your dream characters have been bringing you mirrors so that you can see your many faces and come to know yourself more clearly. In knowing yourself more clearly you move towards better relationships in the future, as you will be a better judge of yourself, how you interact in relationship, what you want from being in relationship, why you are attracted to certain people and not others and so on.
Questions, questions ... and answering questions brings you answers and light. (This is why I structure the Dream Gallery as a Q&A exercise.) Your ex-boyfriend's friend, in your dream, brings you questions and tells you he is interested in integration (on two counts: he is getting engaged and he wants to know of your two-some future too).
So - he is a part of yourself that is ready to harmonise and integrate following the inner conflict which you have been through recently. As a result of integration, you will change. Maybe you will change in a way which leads you to form a better relationship with your ex, or maybe you will change in ways which lead you to new and better relationships. The second is more likely.
Ask yourself what personality the friend in the dream has. What is his approach to life? Now - the answers you have given are in that mirror he is holding on his chest. The answers you have given are the issues you are ready to look at within you in a different way. What does he want out of life? Is that what you want? Is this new to you? How similar are you to this friend? How different?
These are jsut starting points for you to work with, Michelle.
Deeper meaning can be obtained from a dream when full details are given for interpretation. Best of all is to learn the art of dream interpretation for yourself, to become fully empowered with the tools. It is a long and rewarding path, and times of change are amongst the best times to set foot.
We look forward to your thoughts!
Jane Anderson |
