Author

Subject: dream 1/25/2000

shalie21

06:23 27/01/2000 

I was on a grassy hill, possibly the one near my old elementary school. I got along well with a blonde haired boy who went there. His mother came up to me with her son and asked me "Can you babysit for me? You get along so well with my son." I said that I would.

She decided to rent a movie for us. The next thing I know the blonde haired boy turned into my boyfriend who is Hispanic with dark skin and black hair. I felt bad about being boyfriend and girlfriend with him because I am almost 24 and he was 12. (In real life I am 23 almost 24 and my boyfriend is 29 almost 30.) But I didn't know how to break up with him.

Then I was walking down a dirt road with grass on either side with my cousin. She said, "Have you told him yet?" I said, "No, I'm going to tell him tomorrow." She said, "Maybe you can tell him that it is Shalie21 who wants to break up with him and you’re just going by her wishes." My mind immediately rejected the idea because Shalie21 is me - my online nickname- and to tell him that would be unethical. I said, "No, I don't think I should do that."

My cousin and I had been riding in a white truck which broke down just then. In order to start it up again we had to put the truck in a tree, tie a cord around something in the engine and then around the tree branch making some sort of little crank.

My cousin was pulling the cord and I stepped in to help her. Each time we pulled the cord the engine would make a little sputter, but not turn on. Then it quit even doing that. A big strong man who looked a lot like Hulk Hulgan said, "You're not strong enough to really start the engine. Here let me." And he pulled the cord.

Afterwards we felt bad to make him work out like that. But he said it was no problem.

Dream edited for easier reading - JT, 2005

Angela

03:35 31/01/2000 

Hi Shalie21,

Your dreams are always so long and descriptive -- this is a good thing (lots and lots of details to help uncover the meaning), but it also makes the task very daunting...

I'm going to assume (because of the dates as titles?) that you had both of these dreams in the past week. If this is true, you've got something trying to make itself known through blonde hair (the boy you were to baby-sit, Hulk Hogan, and then in the next dream there was a blonde haired man...) I'm curious about this myself. Blonde hair has been showing up in my dreams too. So what comes to mind as you think of blonde hair?

You were walking down a dirt road acknowledging that you had a decision to make. Dirt, mud, sewage, I think, appear in dreams when you are getting 'down to the dirty' or the bottom of things.

I saw a possible link with numbers -- that the boy is 12 and you are Shalie 21. There is allusion to a need to keep your online self separate from your 'day-to-day' self -- the person who is allowed to discuss all the inner workings of her mind, etc. from the one who has perhaps confused 'caring for' (baby-sitting) with 'caring about' (boyfriend)?

Are you in the middle of making some self-discovery decisions? Cutting out some 'young' thinking?

I think there is a lot in this dream. The engine needing to be started and a wrestler comes to your rescue -- 'wrestling' with getting yourself to do something?

The cord, the tree, the truck, your cousin... These all have significance in your mind. See if you can place what they mean to you.

I hope something triggered for you Shalie21. All the best with it.

Angela.

Shalie21

13:50 02/02/2000 

I realize my dreams are long and complicated, and I wouldn't have them any other way. And also I realize that it can be very daunting to interpret them, that's why their here :-) But I appreciate any attempts to do so. Usually I try to take them apart and so I deal with a much smaller bit of the imagery at a time. Let me address some of your observations now :-)

Let's see, to free associate with blonde hair I get --- Light thoughts, gold, sunshine, shiney and sparkly like a diamond, fire.

I think I do try to keep my online self separate from my regular self, yet of course I know that both selves are the same person. Now with the part about my boyfriend being younger, before the dream I had a conversation with my boyfriend. He made a comment wondering why he didn't get the same benefits as a certain little boy and I said, its because you're not a little boy, but then I was thinking that sometimes he acted like one.

And yes, I have been and still am wrestling with myself to do something that I don't want to do. I've been hanging on for dear life to something that I want, but not doing the thing that I need. I keep making excuses not to do it and so I still wrestle.

Thanks for all your help. I'm still working on the meaning.

Jane Anderson

15:51 02/02/2000 

Hi Shalie21,

You also mention ethics in this dream - and in the Synchronicity Forum. Are you 'hung up' in someway (like the truck in the tree?) over ethics? Is Shalie21 as worried about ethics as your offline self? Do you feel ethics is tying (like the truck and the cord) or freeing? To be ethical (to have integrity?) should be freeing, but in difficult circumstances perhaps it feels tying. A harder question might be: "Whose ethics are you living your life by?" In this same light, whose ethics would Shalie21 live her life by if she were living in your offline world? In other words, is there a difference between your inner world and outer world ethics?

A tree in a dream can symbolise the self or the family tree. The moment I read the word 'tree' in your dream, I got an image of 'hanging' (hanging someone). This then tied in (woops, sorry) with the cord and the vision of the truck 'hanging'.

However, as your cousin was there too, I wonder if this emphasised the 'family tree' side of things.

Crank: feeling cranky?

Pulling cord: pulling someone's strings? Having your own strings pulled?

White cars frequently symbolise spiritual drive/motivation whereas trucks can symbolise heavy-duty haulage / work. Any connections here, or do you feel the truck has a more personal symbolism for you?

You say you have been 'hanging on for dear life' - now there's that word 'hanging' again, and this time connected with life (the life and death of hanging??)

Just some quick thoughts to add to Angela's and yours.

Blessings,

Jane Anderson