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dream of ex-partner, girlfriend, garden, leaving, abandoned, crying, bicycle (keywords)

Ask Jane Teresa about the most important basic meaning of your dream

Dream Forum Archive

These dreams are selected from our Public Dream Forum (1998 - 2003). Jane Teresa's professional interpretations were added later.

A B C D E F G H I J K L M N O P Q R S T U V W X Y Z

Author

Subject: Fiance's Ex-Girlfriend

guest

23:15 08/04/2002 

My fiancé and I are in our front yard laying around talking and hugging and this old car keeps driving by the house. Then finally we (or I) realise it is his ex-girlfriend (they have not dated in over 10 years).

He and I continue to talk and hug and then she drives by again, this time he says “She can't live without me” and he acts as though he is leaving me. Then I am upset, crying and I am trying to get on my bicycle to go to her house (don't really know why) and he is telling me where she lives. The dream disturbs me.

Dream edited for easier reading - JT, 2005

2004

Jane Teresa's View

Jane Teresa Anderson

Overview Interpretation & Dream Alchemy Practice suggestion


OVERVIEW INTERPRETATION

When your male partner appears in a dream, he may represent the relationship or he may represent your own male side, that is, your Yang, your outer world, your left brain qualities. Let’s look at each possibility.

You are in the front yard, on view to the public, perhaps, in comparison to being in the back yard. If we’re taking the relationship perspective first, this dream could be about the ‘front’ you show to the world or about how comfortable you do or don’t feel about your relationship in public.

When you think of his ex-girlfriend, which three words spring to your mind to describe her approach to life? Write them down. You might have, for example, ‘clever, outgoing, permissive’. Then write down the opposites, for example, ‘not clever, private, clinging’.

Do any of these six words describe you or issues that concern you about your relationship? If so, then these are the issues your dream is addressing. For example, if there have been issues of how outgoing or private you or your fiancé are, then your dream might introduce the ex-girlfriend as a perfect symbol threatening the relationship.

When your fiancé says, “She can’t live without me,” YOU are really saying, in your dream, “I believe my fiancé is more drawn to outgoing people and I am afraid I’ll lose him”. A dream is ALWAYS about you the dreamer – it is about your beliefs, not about your fiancé’s beliefs.

She drives by in an old car. A car in a dream can symbolise drive. Perhaps you feel your relationship is driven, in some areas, by issues relating back to the ex-girlfriend, issues that you feel intrude on the present. I’m wondering if the bicycle symbolises a cycle (going round in circles, full cycle) especially as you try to cycle to her house, which is going back to the past. Does your relationship go through cycles and do you feel these cycles are related to either your fiancé’s previous relationship or your feelings of jealousy about the ex-girlfriend, or competition with her?

Now let’s look at your dream from the second possibility, the one where your fiancé represents your outer world. Now, stick with the same set of six words you came up with for the ex-girlfriend because they probably describe her as a symbol quite accurately. Let’s stick with the same example, that she represents levels of outgoing versus privacy. Where, in your outer world, (work, most likely), do you feel issues of outgoing versus privacy are threatening the status quo? Do you tend to go round in cycles or circles at work, or in your career? Is it YOU who is still driven by the old car, still attracted to where you were at over ten years ago? Is it you who can’t let go of the past? Or do you feel people at work “can’t live without you”, making it difficult on yourself to delegate?


DREAM ALCHEMY PRACTICE

Dialogue:

Your dialogue is between you and the old car. Start with you saying, “How are you feeling today?” and see what the old car automatically answers. Keep it going for 20 minutes.

How to do this:

Give yourself no longer than 20 minutes. When you do this exercise do NOT think! Don’t plan ahead. Just let whatever happens happen. Let the two entities speak to each other on paper using whatever words come up. It’s a bit like writing a film script or play – but without the brain being involved.

How does this work?

By not thinking, by keeping the words flowing, you are letting your right brain and unconscious mind do most of the work. They created the original dream so they know what these symbols mean for you. They will reveal. You will be surprised.

More details on Dialogue as a Dream Alchemy Practice in: “Dream Alchemy”, by Jane Teresa Anderson, pages 321-4 and 333.

Jane Teresa Anderson




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ORIGINAL THREAD

Below is the original forum discussion on this dream, contributed before Jane Teresa's 2004 interpretation.

Star

06:00 09/04/2002 

Hmmm... Hi - there's an old expression which came to me when I read your post which relates beautifully to my own present situation - something like -

"time for you (not meaninging you personally) to get on your bike" - meaning time for something/someone to quite literally bugger off from your life.

My stuff aside - looking at it purely symbolically - what does your fiance symbolise to you??

Are there any old aspects of your feminine Self i.e. attitudes, ways of being, ways of behaving etc. that you perhaps intuitively know it is time to leave behind but that you are not wanting to let go of even though you may know it is time they/it went???

Is there anything within yourself that you are hanging onto and don't think you can live without???

As I said this particular dream hit home for me so my questions may not even resonate for you. The only reason I am seeing what I am in it is because only just this week it was time for me to let go of something I'd been hanging onto which required me to tell another to get on their bike.

Ha, never ceases to amaze me how sometimes what I see in other's dreams can be such a wonderful reflection of my own issues.

Thanks.


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