Author

Subject: meaty dreams

Nani

13:03 16/04/2002 

I had moved from the city to a small country community. I walked through gardens where the planting and growing of vegetables was taking place. It was very rural, rustic and charming.

I felt some anxiety standing outside looking some distance through the window of a house belonging to an elderly man. He was talking, maybe having a cup of tea, with a visitor. I observed the scene, wishing the man would be my friend. Then he stood up, appearing to have no time for the visitor and came out and befriended me.

He had a large hotplate over a fire and was barbequing meat. He offered me a spare rib, rich red in colour, and I ate it. I had never tasted anything so good. It was the most tender, succulent, tasty piece of food I had ever eaten.

Other people joined us. There were other pieces of cooked meat lying around for people to eat, equally delicious and tender and red.

I was left with a wonderful feeling of happiness and sense of community from sharing and nourishment.

In a second dream I was helping a young friend at University with her darkroom work. Afterwards she told me how invaluable my help was and how they hadn't been taught enough or the correct methods. I thought about this and the shortcomings of the teacher and decided I would be better in the job.

I wanted that job! I was just about to point out the shortcomings of the teacher to my friend and planning to then go to the Head of Department to put myself forward for the position, when the teacher appeared.

At this stage, we were sitting on a workbench in a corridor eating meat. We had in front of us a huge leg of roast meat, brown and delicious with a few small pieces beside it. I was picking at the pieces and enjoying them but wondering why I wasn't eating from the large piece. Then I decided I would when I'd finished the pieces.

So the teacher arrived and spoke to us, mainly to the student, then left. My friend then commented on what a great teacher she was and how helpful and informative. I was shocked and didn't agree, but was glad I hadn't said anything about her to my friend.

Note:

I was vegetarian for many years and am only temporarily back on meat for various reasons.

Dream edited for easier reading - JT, 2005

Read the original thread or Jane Teresa's view.

Star

04:51 17/04/2002 

Don't know if this assists any Nani but Meat can often be more about meet - than meat.

Pieces - picking up the pieces maybe - finishing off something that has been left in pieces - Picking something to pieces?

Nani

08:07 18/04/2002 

Thanks for responding Star. I'd thought of the meet but couldn't put my finger on anything. There are lots of different things going on with my work - maybe I'm just nibbling round the edges and not getting stuck into the main part. No that doesn't feel like the issue.

Tell me, do dreams just continue to tap you on the shoulder in different ways until you get it or make changes? I really need to get my hands on more of Jane Ts books. The reason I ask is that, if that's the case, is there any connection between these dreams and a very brief one I had last night about wolves. It grabbed my attention because of what you'd mentioned about wolves earlier to Sundardras (sorry if the spellings too far out).

There was snow on the ground, I was standing near an outcrop of large boulder type rocks. About 4 wolves ran in from the left and I leapt onto the rocks to avoid them. They were snapping and trying to get up to me. I felt concerned but not really scared. I kept thinking 'If only I could communicate with them they wouldn't hurt me and then I could get down off here and go and organise my wedding'. One of the wolves, the leader, looked like a cartoon character - pink and upright, a bit like the pink panther I suppose.

Love Nani

Anne

10:44 18/04/2002 

Hello Nani, I think communicate might be the operative word & may be connected to both dreams. Meet (like meet in the middle) & communicate are kind of the same thing in my mind.

Star

13:57 18/04/2002 

Will go a bit deeper for you Nani - who knows what you will/won't get out of it but it feels right to do so. As always can only ever look at another's as I would my own so here goes nothing. Hmm... wonder what it will reveal to me :)

"I had moved from the city to a small country community. Don't recall many details now but I walked through gardens where the planting and growing of vegetables was taking place. Very rural/rustic and charming."

Movement occurring perhaps from being more external to internal.

Details of which seem irrelevant.

Gardens, growth, planting - vegetables - vege tables - turning the tables maybe? Aspiring to new internal growth maybe? Nurturing self - maybe - definitely one for me right now.

You dreamt of meat, Owen dreamt of Roast Beef - any links to anything in his posts?

Anxiety standing on the outside, looking in. Anxious over what????

Old Man - perhaps masculine wisdom Self. Wanting to perhaps connect more fully with that inner part of self, get to truly know it and bring it into the outside world, maybe??

BBQ - usually a social event - any links to past with BBQ's. Bar be que - que waiting - bar be - barbie - toy, doll - anything??? Bar - barrier - be - just be and enjoy maybe. ????

Spare Rib - reminded me of the biblical story of woman supposedly being made from the rib of Adam. Any connection there?? Don't all humans have one extra rib on one side of our bodies???

Meat as in being a bit more "meaty", showing more substance maybe??? Realising how delicious, juicy and tender you are on the inside???

Feeling here is important, joy and happiness from sharing, sense of community - needing/wanting to get more involved with others maybe??? Or with the many aspects of self that exist internally and are reflected back to you externally.

University - place of learning - school of life.

In the darkroom - subconscious - in the dark consciously about anything - helping your friend - what does that friend symbolise - how do you see her (I think it was).

Needing in any situation to share your gifts, talents, skills more fully - needing to put yourself a bit more forwardly out there even???

Work bench - corridor - eating meat -

corridor - passageway - birth canal - giving birth to anything new that requires you to meet any parts of Self which may be requiring work - wow that popped out incredibly easily and have no idea where it came from so I'll leave it.

The Teacher as you - perhaps believing you aren't as capable as you truly know you are???

Again I see something unfinished/left over in the pieces you are picking at - not wanting the whole - happy with the morsels maybe?? but also having desire to eat/taste/experience the whole.

In answer to your question re dreams tapping us on the shoulders till we get it - have often found this to be the case. Sometimes even I can't make head to tail of mine - always easier to work with others - and if I find I have to spend too long with my own I usually just give them the flick - and I get it one way or another - like a bolt of lightening when I do.

The dialoguing JT and many others are using between symbols helps tremendously and her books are second to none. I find it pretty arduous to sit and do a dialog via writing so I just have conversations with my symbols in my head, although that doesn't always work either - each to his own, no set way really. Doodling with paint, crayons, paper whatever is also pretty effective.

Seems to me we can only really get it when we can get it. I often laugh at how ridiculously dumb I have been when I do get it.

In relation to this one -

There was snow on the ground, I was standing near an outcrop of large boulder type rocks. About 4 wolves ran in from the left and I leapt onto the rocks to avoid them. They were snapping and trying to get up to me. I felt concerned but not really scared. I kept thinking 'If only I could communicate with them they wouldn't hurt me and then I could get down off here and go and organise my wedding'. One of the wolves, the leader, looked like a cartoon character - pink and upright, a bit like the pink panther I suppose.

Standard thing for snow - frozen emotions, ground - physical.

Rocks are a biggy in my belief system - speak of the earth records for a particular area and often if you take the time to study rocks it is absolutely mindblowing what you can see in them. The are known as the Stone People. I recently had a huge boulder completely smash in a dream and indeed something within/without was being smashed - part of an illusion about a situation in physical reality.

Out crop - again out external - crop - relating maybe back to the vege garden.

Wolves biggies as well - Wolf is commonly known as The Teacher as I said in Sundardas's post. Seems to me and I may be way off base but these aspects of Self are definitely trying to get your attention. 4 is interesting - 4 seasons, 4 directions - create wholeness. Whole linking back in with the meat. Wolves also stick together, the mother wolf is extremely caring and protective of her young. Expression about folk being wolves - pack mentality also fits.

As the wolves are aspects of self - are you being snappy and needing to communicate calmly with anyone??? Will that communication then lead to greater understanding or are you in any way fearful that by speaking your truth you will get hurt??

Organise your wedding - union of masculine and feminine Self. Are you needing to organise more space for yourself, needing to integrate your Masculine and Feminine a bit more i.e. are you being more logical than intuitive or vice versa???

Agree with what Anne has said re communicate and meet.

And finally - cartoon character reminds me of childhood - what does the Pink Panther mean to you - any links to that time in your life - in the cartoon from memory and I am really going back now - there was no words, only actions. Leader of the Pack - needing to take the lead - not needing to take things so seriously - cartoons are far from serious.

Therefore could the communication issue if there is one be more about just doing what you need to as action is a form of communication and for myself actions always speak louder than words.

Cheers - I know there is heaps there - questions and input is just here for you to do what you want with it.

Don't doubt some things may resonate, others not at all or maybe none of it will.

I have a favourite quote which I will leave you with "When all is said and done, more is said than done."

Blessings, Star.

Nani

17:29 18/04/2002 

I want to call you Star Light, you've shone the light on so many areas of my dreams, and I'm very grateful for your time and effort. YES to the communication issues that you and Anne picked up. Thanks Anne. Although I was aware of that, I've become aware that it's a specific problem with the important males in my life - father, husband and son. And I'm about to take action.

I'm printing your posting now Star so I can mull over your wisdoms at my leisure.

Many thanks

Love Nani

Star

19:08 18/04/2002 

My pleasure Nani - pleased to hear you got something from it all! It just flowed so easily as I read.

Just had to have a giggle to myself when I read what you said about father, husband, son. - Father, Son, Holy Spirit - Spare Rib.

Feeling like the "meat in the sandwich" in any way????

Ha Ha Ha Star Light - well a Shooting Star usually lights up the night (subconscious) sky - used to post as Shooting Star but it became quicker to just type Star.

Just love dreams and shedding light if I can - always a pleasure, certainly never an effort.

With love, Star.

Nani

08:17 19/04/2002 

Hi Star, Ha - As I was typing my last post I'd got to father, son and h....then thought oh God that looks corny - have to re-do that. I love that you picked it up anyway. It's funny isn't it - and how everything seems so interconnected. As a recovering catholic (a lifetime journey I suspect) and an artist who is constantly and often unintentionally referencing this theme in my work, its now amusing to see stuff like this constantly popping up. And of course spare rib, which as I think about it is the first symbol of women - the genesis if you like, and it was such a red and delicious rib. Jane once posted me that blood symbolised energy. Wonderful women, spare rib and all.

Wolves, rocks, snow, corridors - our unconcious selves are so brilliant with the imagery and symbols they dream up are'nt they? And your interpretations resonate almost every time. Why do you think it's harder for us to undertand the meaning in our own dreams? I've been pondering this and for myself I think maybe its that I sense the dreams are so important and so special that I don't want to get it wrong. Sounds like a lack of self trust if you ask me.

So now I must away and sink my teeth into something meaty.

Thank you Star Much love Nani

Jane Teresa Anderson

10:48 19/04/2002 

Hi Nani,

Why is it harder for us to understand our own dreams than to help others to understand theirs?

I think the major reason is that our dreams often reflect issues that we are having difficulty seeing, dynamics and beliefs that are/ have been confusing our way forward.

By definition such dreams present material that our conscious mind struggles to comprehend. (If we were already conscious of the obstacles in our way we would have cleared them.)

Interpreting your own dream is a process of becoming conscious about something that you have previously rendered unconscious - for what seemed like 'good' reasons at the time. A courageous thing to do.

Other people, who may or may not have been where you are now at, may see your dream more clearly because they do not have a vested interest in not seeing (staying in comfort zone).

Hope this helps,

Jane Teresa

Lena

11:05 19/04/2002 

Hi Nani,

I think the reason we can't interpret our own dreams as easily as those of others is because we are too close to the issues involved. It's a case of "can't see the forest for the trees".

Also, dreams tend to be multi-layered, so others can usually spot the layers that we overlook in our close-focus.

I've found that the interpretations I work out for my own dreams are okay, but they are only one way of looking at the dream, and when others suggest interpretations from their point of view, a multi-dimensional picture appears.

Dream interpretation is a process that goes on until the "Ahaa!" emerges (or a few of them). It's like juggling many possibilites until they fall into an easy-to-understand pattern.

The process also opens up many opportunities to examine beief systems and behaviours and the best part is that you can use this information to make positive changes in your life. So don't be bashful about working on your dreams. Every little bit is valuable!

Lena

Lena

11:07 19/04/2002 

Hi Jane Teresa,

It appears that we were both answering Nani's question at the same time!

Lena

Star

11:23 19/04/2002 

Hi Nani,

Hmm.. funny how it's all interconnected, that's cause it is - as much as our minds would have us believe in separation, seperatness, just ain't so.

All that exists is One at the core, and time and death as we know them to be simply do not exist. Seems to me some things and folk are mirrors (reflecting back to us what we need to see most about ourselves at any given time), others are windows (we can see right through them) and yet others are doorways that lead us on to the next grand adventure and even greater awareness of Self. Whole journey reminds me somewhat of a never ending fairy tale of our own creation.

Trick seems to be in being aware of that, removing projection, and staying open to whatever comes along, living and speaking our personal truth, trusting our hearts and intuition to guide us more so than our heads and what is sensible, logical and holding onto nothing or no-one whilst taking full responsibility for all we experience. Big ask for many but I don't believe it is impossible for all of us to achieve.

Ha, Ha, Ha a recovering Catholic, love it - seems there are many of us, although I gave it up at 12 cause all I saw was power over the people via fear and control and huge hypocrisy. Just didn't quite jell with me - knew there was more but what that more was I didn't discover until a good 20 years later. Feel far more connection to the God within when I am alone in nature or when I am dreaming than I ever did or do in any building or within any man-made organisation that speaks of God being separate to humanity.

Speaking of which I saw a sign recently "The Church that cares" - how is this so really -as people, not buildings, care. So much of what I see and hear around me makes no sense to me at all! Often feel like an alien and many days wonder what on Earth I am even doing here. Sometimes difficult accepting it all for me but there is no other way really as each can only see or know what each is ready to see and know. Each also has their own unique view of "reality" which is to be respected. But no matter what path taken it all leads to the top of Sacred Mountain.

Of the feminine and all things creative I recently read something a very switched on Dream Shaman Robert Moss had said - along the lines of "I am but a man and I know with everything in me it will be the force of the feminine that changes our world." As women are changing the men are too and there are some pretty amazing men, women and children who are emerging from the still burning fire and ashes of all that is patriachal. Much more burning and change to come yet.

In answer to your question about it being more difficult to understand our own dreams - for me it is because I am usually too close to them emotionally and there is usually so much going on in my head that I can relate the symbols to - as we saw from meat alone there are so many different meanings we can find within a symbol. Once I gain some emotional distance from an issue or a dream I can usually see the message clearer. And when we do truly get that message well there is no question at all about what it is telling us we need to change about ourselves, rather than what we are perhaps trying to change in others.

Although for me everything and everyone I encounter has symbolic meaning which makes it even more complicated - my life and my dreams are one big dream - no separation at all between that world for me and this world - gets tricky walking with a foot in both - quick example - my little one(who symbolises my love manifesting in the world) whilst very happy in a previous day care centre is thoroughly miserable whenever I drop him off at the new one. Clings to me and won't let me go - it's horrible.

This morning he definitely did not want to stay, intuition was telling me by the gut feeling I was experiencing to just take him home, another part of me was saying no, leave him here he needs to adjust and you have things to do you simply can't manage with him around + being a single parent I also need a break from him occasionally. He's only in at present for 3 half days a week. As I was leaving still torn as to whether or not I should just go back in and get him so I asked if I should or not.

An Eagle appeared out of nowhere - heading West - Eagle for me is symbolic of Great Spirit/God, seeing the bigger picture and of being on the right track - also speaks of new beginnings as Eagle's home is in the East - West speaks of a need for retreat and introspection - is home of Bear for me and of all that is feminine - but what did it's appearance really mean go back in and get him or go home by myself - retreat and ponder it all??

I also have other issues in my head at present and am wondering if I am on the right track with them - so what does the Eagle's appearance really relate to?? Eagle always appears for me when I am on the right track as do 3's and multiples thereof.

I came home alone but I still don't know whether I should try to find another centre or not, or an alternative carer maybe as they tell me he is happy within 1/2 hour of me leaving each time. Is his unhappiness caused by him being just that bit older now, and being in unfamiliar surroundings or is that particular environment not the one that is best for him. Is he picking up on something I'm not that is causing him fear??? and so it goes on.

Seems to me Nani, there is no wrong or right, just as there is no good and bad - everything just is, for who are we to judge anything really. We've never been shown or taught how to truly love ourselves or have compassion with ourselves. We've all been brought up with shame, guilt, blame and fear.

For me understanding our dreams are vital to understanding the true nature of life and Self. Which then leads us into a far deeper understanding of others.

Many are using natural therapies these days for healing but so many still see no value in working with their dreams, however that too is slowly changing thanks to folk like Jane Teresa, Robert Moss, Denise Linn and many others whose passion in life and perhaps one of their main reasons for being here is to work with folk and their dreams.

Enjoy your something meaty whatever it may be.

With love and blessings, Star.

Nani

20:06 19/04/2002 

Thanks Jane Theresa, Lena and Star, Well that's a lesson I won't forget, reinforced 3 times!!! Wonderful. Thank you all very much. I am very much aware that it is time to move out of my comfort zone, mostly because it's not very comfortable any more.

I empathise with you over your situation with your son Star. I've been on both ends of the same situation, both as a teacher and as a mother, and from both sides it tore my heart out. I found the solution, which may or may not be available to you, is to stay with your child in the new environment for as long as it takes for them to settle and feel secure. It's also a good opportunity to observe - maybe there is a specific reason at the centre that is upsetting your little guy.

An interesting synchronicity is that I've had the East-West thing on my mind off and on all day, due to a fragment of dream I remember from last night:

I had an aerial view of New Zealand and male voices were saying what great surf and beaches there would be on the East coast, and I was saying, very determindly, that no, they didn't understand that the East coast of NZ wasn't like the east coasts of Africa, Australia, and South America because NZ is so narrow and fragmented that the winds coming in from the West just blustered right over the land to the east coast, so there was no protection for the east from the west and therefor there were not beautiful, protected beaches, they were wild and stormy.

Interesting huh? I'm trying to relate that to what you said about east and west. Need some time to mull it over.

Love to all out there, Nani

Star

09:26 20/04/2002 

Hi Nani - seems we were all busy writing around the same time.

Thanks for the suggestion re the little fella - we've been taking it really slowly - initially spending an hour or so with me there - then progressing to me staying for a while before I leave. I sat with him for nearly an hour yesterday and my staying only seems to make it harder for him. None of these things did I have to do at the last place.

There are a few things which disturb me about this Centre - the noise level being the biggest. I not only hear noise but I feel it and perhaps it is the same for him. Bigger children are next door with an always open window between the two rooms and for some unknown reason the Centre has radios/tapes playing loudly in each room as well as a heap of children just being children. Quite a few of which aren't always that happy to leave Mum. Many of the carers are extremely young also and whilst I don't doubt they have undergone some practical and much textbook training I doubt they have children of their own.

The other day when I took him in a little girl was dreadfully upset - her carer explained that her cousin, who I presumed she plays with regularly out of the Centre, was in a separate fenced off area to her but still very visible. She came straight to me as the young girl caring for her could provide no comfort. I thought it rather unusual as she'd never laid eyes on me before that she wanted me to give her a cuddle - I held her close to me saying absolutely nothing to her, just rocking her -my son on one hip, her on the other, until she calmed herself and was ready to hop down and play again.

Then in this week's Newsletter there is a request for parents not to handle or discipline other children when they are there just in case of an unfortunate accident because the Centre insurance doesn't cover other folk! I find that fear mentality hard to cope with - if children need and want cuddles from another then why not give them - I also found it really dumb to keep the child who was distressed outside with the cause of her distress - why not just let them play together or move her inside to engage her in a different activity.

I've been exposed to a totally different philosophy where children are concerned - one that doesn't consist of blaring radios/TVs. One in which there was more quiet and natural music - singing or instruments - including a harp - where little was said and normal household chores were performed including preparation of morning tea - baking bread - slicing fruit etc. with the children participating of their own accord in whatever activity was occurring if they wanted to - as children learn from imitation, repetition and they love to help. My little guy is quite independant for his age - hates folk fussing around him or trying to control him as unless he is in danger or playing with something which could be a source of danger to him I just leave him be.

All toys were hand made and consisted of natural materials and many toys were nothing more than things found in nature - as well as realistic little hand knitted or wooden animals - faceless dolls - so the child's imagination can make the doll be whatever the child was feeling - happy, sad, whatever, hand dyed coloured cloths etc.

Nothing was made of plastic and the general toys that are "out there" were not used. Painting was also a case of rounding off the sharp edges of the paper and using primary colours only so that the child could see how they made different colours. Even the room was circular so that it was embracing rather than being full of sharp edges. Always felt a bit like a womb would to me. Soft colours were also used and there weren't heaps of animated things or things hanging from ceilings. It was an embracing but open space.

My little guy is already helping me with sweeping and hanging out washing, handing me pegs and clothes and various other daily activities, including watering plants and cooking. He also has very few "normal" toys. He has also spent many many hours in a sling as I go about daily chores. When he goes to sleep I sing to him or rock him rather than play taped music and so it goes on.

From what I learned Rhythm is a huge part of the day and TV/taped music and radios a definite no go until a much later age. Children are so open and absorb absolutey everything they encounter. There is also a definite balance of quiet time and busy time. Intellectually there isn't a huge amount of stimulation like in most care, pre-school situations as the energy of the developing child is required to grow the body. The child is therefore allowed to unfold naturally rather than be rushed. Children are only taught intellectually once they reach 7 and the first teeth have been lost.

What I liked most about the philosophy I was exposed to was that when all the children were required to gather around after outside play the teacher used to play a certain tune with a pentatonic recorder rather than yelling out to them, talking to them or ringing a bell and they knew exactly what to do - she was like the Pied Piper and whilst no doubt there were a few temper tantrums from the little folk from time to time - it was all pretty harmonious, she was definitely very much in charge and all was usually very peaceful. Many times the end and start of a new activity would be indicated by singing a song that was appropriate to whatever was occurring or the playing of her recorder. The harp was used to indicate story time at which point all the children gathered in a circle around her. The teacher did not use books for stories - she knew them off by heart so there was direct communication with each child occurring. They were fascinated by her, her work that she did whilst she was caring for them, her music and her stories.

I learnt heaps about little folk and even more about myself during my time spent with this wonderful philosophy and this very special woman. So find the mainstream way of thinking and doing rather hard to deal with. Don't doubt the adjustment to how I work and how they work at this new Centre is a bit daunting for him. The last centre we were at whilst not exactly the same as my preferred option was pretty close to it and it too was always quite peaceful and calm. Whereas this one seems to be totally out of control.

Apparently 10 minutes after I left yesterday all was fine for him. But a comment when I collected him disturbed me a little - just a matter of not letting him "get away with it" i.e. not picking him up when he is distressed, not letting him cling to me.

I don't know how to address the things that concern me there - as I don't doubt I would be seen as being rather strange. Most folk seem OK with what goes on and just accept it, possibly cause they know nothing different. I can also see that many are just so focussed on getting to work and paying the bills, but for us I don't know that it is the right place. One criteria for teaching in the philosophy my daughter was exposed to was - teaching/caring for children out of love for the child, not just a pay packet at the end of the week. The amount of time, love and energy both teachers and parents spent creating such a wonderful warm embracing and beautiful environment was like nothing I had ever seen or felt before.

Whilst it would be ideal to leave him in a situation where a similar philosophy to the one I know is practiced there are no such places that I know of close by until pre-school age.

He's an extremely happy peaceful little guy so to see him distressed by what I need to do is difficult. And as soon as I get there to pick him up he's just so keen to get to me whereas at the last place half the time he didn't even know I was there, nor did he want to come home.

Apologies for the rave but it is making it all that much clearer for me. Hmmm... time to look elsewhere I think. Perhaps a family day care Mum might be a better option.

Oh and in relation to New Zealand - from that I get New zeal/zest for life and what???

Winds relate for me to the winds of change. Depending on the direction depends on the meaning. Quick example - I was sitting outside the other day and the wind seemed to be coming from all directions and many crows had gathered in my back yard.

Interpretation - winds of change are about to reveal truth - my life changing in many ways from all directions - to reveal truth. A couple of days later my life changed totally from how it had been and I did indeed see the truth of an issue I had been deceiving myself about for quite some time.

What is feeling narrow and fragmented in your life right now - fragmented - pieces of meat.

More than enough of me.

Take Care Star.

Anne

09:57 20/04/2002 

Hi Star, you are upset, I can feel it as well as see it. I don't think I'd leave any child there, especially when you don't feel right about it. But maybe, you feel you have no other choice.

If you do feel you have to take your child away from there, definitely write the management a letter & tell them why.

Nani

16:46 20/04/2002 

Dear Star,

I agree with Anne totally. I also think youre quite right about other peoples lives -head down, bum up just trying to survive. But once you've been exposed to a better way you can't go back. And don't worry about appearing strange to these people - some of the most wonderful people I've met are 'strange' by societies standards, and I'm sure that anyone in education these days will be familiar with the Steiner, Montessori and other alternative educational philosophies and systems, or I would certainly hope so.

Good luck with whatever action you decide to take. My thoughts are with you.

And I LOVE the imagery conjured up with 'winds of change' - new zeal and ? opportunity, wisdom, love, adventure, focus - I'll stop on that one, focus feels right. Which fits in with the fragments and pieces doesn't it? Magic.

Take care, Nani

Star

19:58 20/04/2002 

Thanks Anne and Nani - much appreciated. I got tingles all over me as I read your posts and know you are both right. Yes Anne it does upset me - not only to see and feel what is going on for him there but also what I see and feel happening to all these other little folk in apparent ignorant bliss!

I did so much work on myself and with him helping him to push through and let go of some pretty major fears he had about coming for 8 years before he even got here and to see him like this, feeling like I didn't have much choice has been hard. But we do have choice with absolutely everything we do. Fear in him is something I have done everything possible to avoid.

His previous day care was Montessori based, my daughter's education from pre-school to at least 10 years old was Steiner - reckon I learnt more than she possibly did. I wasn't sure if just mentioning those without going into details would be things most folk actually do know about.

As my now nearly 13 year old is busying herself making a "cubby" from chairs, sheets, pegs and string in the lounge room for herself and the little fella to play in and as a gorgeous extremely colourful "We love you Mum" drawing sits waiting for completion on the kitchen table to be displayed on the fridge I can't help but think how wonderful the world would be to actually see mainstream education become a mix of these two wonderful educational philosophies - doubt we'd (society) be experiencing half the crap that goes on out there - creation, truth and great self esteem and self awareness instead of destruction, fear and young folk feeling lousy about themselves, searching for who they really are.

Whilst both philosphies seem to be at opposite ends of the scale in some respects from what I have seen and felt both provide a very warm safe place for little folk to learn and grow.

And you are right Nani once you have been exposed to a better way - a way that feels perfectly right in your heart you can't go back, for there is nothing to go back too. Ha, once your eyes and heart have been fully opened you simply can't shut them again.

This rather lengthy example (sorry guys) of the day care situation is exactly what I mean when I say how so much of what I see doesn't make sense to me at all and whilst for some ignorance may be bliss for me it is never an option. I was so impressed by Steiner's Philosophy and the results that came from it for both my daughter and myself I even moved interstate leaving friends and family in order to have a natural birth with my son at which my daughter was also present.

I like your suggestion re writing a letter Anne terminating his care there and explaining the reasons why.

I did find a temporary alternative today - good old Mum. I've also started to take steps re trying to find a family day care mum that is actually more aware than most.

Mum has an awareness of the things I do and don't do with my children even though she hasn't been around much until now and she has also worked with mentally and physically disabled children for many many years. She doesn't rush my son with anything, nor does she control him, believes in rhythm and routine and is extremely well organised. Often when we visit he hangs onto me for no more than 10 -15 minutes then he's off exploring, her not far behind him just observing him, and him not giving a hoot whether I am there or not. She also has a huge area both inside and out for him to freely play in.

I know I will feel much better leaving him there even just one or two days a week until I can find something else rather than in this extremely noisy and artificial environment. They even have artificial grass outside on the pathers!

Whilst financially I need to go back to work - I think I will leave it for a while longer. My passion in life is to work with folk and their dreams and I also enjoy making Steiner toys and things for little folk - so I will just make do financially for now and work on those.

Hmmm... guess I picked up on new zeal and ? more for myself than you Nani and I like the your answers cause they certainly apply to me too.

Thanks again to both of you - never dreamt for one second your meaty dreams would land up in me resolving this particular issue at all. Ha, guess Eagle was right yet again - retreat alone and ponder, see the bigger picture and the answer will come.

Blessings. Star.

2008-2010

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Jane Teresa Anderson

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Please see Jane Teresa’s replies (in turquoise) in the original discussion thread above.

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