Our dreams process our experiences of the last 48 hours. Everything we have seen, felt, heard, tasted, touched or sensed, either consciously or unconsciously, needs to be sorted out and filed away.
So much happens to us while awake that we do not register with our conscious mind: these are the unconscious experiences our dreams need to sort out.
As our dreaming mind sorts the recently received information and decides where to file it, it compares this information to past experiences and beliefs which is why symbols from our past feature in our dreams (for example, past homes). Our dreaming mind also compares the information with our hopes and plans for the future and sees where there are obstacles, which is why our future hopes can also enter the dream picture.
When we have an emotional conflict (like the one you have described here) our dreams try to resolve the issue. They often do this by referring back to the past. They can reveal which old beliefs and experiences keep us in situations that are not emotionally healthy for us.
Whenever you dream of this girl you are dreaming of the betrayal you felt. You say you feel unable to forgive your boyfriend, so your dream is likely recurring over the same issue: betrayal versus trust.
The cold sweat is fear. Where has your trust been betrayed in the past? Why might that past situation be making you fearful of resolving this one?
Writing Exercise
Take a piece of paper and write a list of all the things that upset you about this girl. On the other side of the paper write a list of all the things you feel unable, at the moment, to forgive your boyfriend.
Wait two days and then review your lists. How many of these things remind you of past situations and past experiences?
Wait two days. Then set a clock ticking for fifteen minutes and type, as fast as you can, whatever comes up (like a story) using the title “Forgiveness”. Don’t worry about it being any good or even making much sense (you can burn it afterwards). Written fast it may look like it’s written by a five year old – and that is just fine. This is not about good writing. This is about letting your unconscious mind throw it all down onto paper. You will be very surprised at what comes up, at how good you feel afterwards, and, most importantly, at how the waking life problem will disappear. Suddenly you will know what to do.
How does this work?
By working with dream elements and symbols in writing form you are communicating with your unconscious mind in its own language to create change, to explore your feelings and to resolve and heal past issues.
More details on various writing exercises as Dream Alchemy Practices in: “Dream Alchemy” by Jane Teresa Anderson, pages 337-338.
Jane Teresa Anderson
